Lilith is the part of us that refuses to submit, that would rather be exiled than deal with oppression. Naturally, Lilith's territory shows us where our unexpressed anger resides. It's where the wildness inherent in our human animalness still exists regardless how it's been nine-to-fived out of us. I share about Lilith now because the faces of all my clients, especially my cisgendered women and trans clients, literally light up when I mention her name. We recognize ourselves in the dark goddesses, the alienated and marginalized, feared and too often despised. Looking at Lilith helps us to bring the unconscious acting out when gaslighted into doubting our own inner knowing into conscious strategies to counter and transform this madness. I'm an advocate for inviting Lilith back to the garden, breaking taboos and making the magic of the untamed parts of us celebrated expressions of our inner wildernesses.
In that spirit and the spirit of International Women's Day, I'm excited (and so nervous) to break the abortion taboo. It's one thing to advocate for choice and another thing to publicly acknowledge the importance of one's personal choice. When I was just 19, I got pregnant. It was absolutely not time for me to give birth, let alone become a parent. I was lucky to have the explicit support of just about everyone in my life and it was still incredibly hard. The small town I lived in didn't have a doctor who would perform the procedure. I thought of all the women in areas more rural than me and shudder to this day. The price tag was nontrivial for a working student and got cheaper the further I was willing to travel. Even with all the support in the world, it was tough, but I knew from the beginning what was right for me. Yes, it was hard, but I can promise you that it's not as hard as having a 12 year old right now would be.
I recalled some deep wisdom knowing that exists in all our bones, helped along in me by growing up with herbal remedies and gardens, that there were certain plants that could be used to induce miscarriage. I did a ton of research, went to the health food store and started dosing at the highest levels I could while still being safe. It worked. Ever since then I've wondered why there isn't more conversation about the kinds of abortions that are less easily regulated into oblivion. With the recent attacks on health care, I wanted to share my story with the hopes that that information is never driven away again and like Lilith can start to occupy a more central place in our cultural narrative. It's time for abortion to become a non-issue, a right that simply cannot be taken away.
To learn more about Lilith, join me at Lynn Bell's talk on Astrological Lilith at The Center for Sex & Culture on Wednesday, March 20th at 7:30pm. I doubt she'll be discussing herbal abortions, but we can have tea beforehand if you want to hear more.
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