God is Change
And in the end,
Kindness eases Change.
Love quiets fear.
And a sweet and powerful
And engages each of us
In the greatest,
The most intense
Of our chosen struggles.
-Octavia Butler, Parable of the Talents
Photo Credit: Nathan Taylor
I've got a penchant for apocalyptic mythos (Octavia Butler's Parables series is a favorite I've recently re-visited). I am especially fond of those that assure me that though transformation can be quite painful there is tremendous hope for shaping our breakdowns into breakthroughs. At the same time, I'm with Saul Williams in "calling all tarot readers and sparrow feeders to cancel the apocalypse." This dark moon in Aries (March 30th) I find myself steeped in both the fear of change and craving the promise of newness, of hope, of possibility born from destruction. Aries needs something to protect so all that fiery, fierceness has somewhere productive to go. This lunation allies with trickster Uranus and Juno, protector of the underdog invoking our unique inner hero's journeys to be allied with the greatest good of all. Use the unexpected to that advantage. Now is the time to ask yourself where you want lightning to strike in your life?
April moves us into eclipse season (4/15 & 4/29) and a grand cross in the cardinal signs (exact on 4/23). I adore when the gregorian calendar and the astrological match up and a tax day lunar eclipse is no exception. Practicing war tax resistance has made me conscious of war nearly every day. It's a small way to resist, to ensure that the nearly half of my tax dollars that go to war do not go there easily. It feels right, good and terrifying. I remind myself all the time that it's nothing compared to the terrors of war or the acts of resistance by folks like Chelsea Manning, and it's something that I can do. The feelings we have about our struggles get highlighted especially in relationship to others. The solar eclipse that follows brings shifts in our bodies and beings toward greater wholeness in the cognitive dissonance.
The grand cross brings us to this moment's crossroad. Dynamic tensions invite shifts that have probably been brewing for a while. It's our work to find integration and wholeness in the shifting possibilities. Uranus in Aries asks us to find deeper liberation of the self and courage in creating change. Jupiter in Cancer asks us to give and receive deep nourishment to our families of origin and those with whom we have chosen kinship. Mars (retrograde) in Libra asks us to return to familiar territory in relating so we can take action differently the next time around (and the next, and then next...). Pluto in Capricorn is asking us to let go of the illusion of control so that real power can come through in service to deep, lasting transformations that serve us through difficult times as well as through bliss. What is your sweet and powerful Positive obsession to guide you through this month?
As Julie Simmons says of this dark new moon time "Step inside the cardinal cross. Bring your friends. There is actually no other place to be. Imagine yourself at the center where the four directions meet. You are the keeper of the directions of your life and today or tomorrow you must make your intentions clear. You want change, you need to feed and nourish your people, you must be a leader but not a dominator and you must have extreme courage to face the fear that there is simply not enough. Whether this is true or not, is not for you to know. What is known is that there is great fear which will require great courage."
Lilith is the part of us that refuses to submit, that would rather be exiled than deal with oppression. Naturally, Lilith's territory shows us where our unexpressed anger resides. It's where the wildness inherent in our human animalness still exists regardless how it's been nine-to-fived out of us. I share about Lilith now because the faces of all my clients, especially my cisgendered women and trans clients, literally light up when I mention her name. We recognize ourselves in the dark goddesses, the alienated and marginalized, feared and too often despised. Looking at Lilith helps us to bring the unconscious acting out when gaslighted into doubting our own inner knowing into conscious strategies to counter and transform this madness. I'm an advocate for inviting Lilith back to the garden, breaking taboos and making the magic of the untamed parts of us celebrated expressions of our inner wildernesses.
In that spirit and the spirit of International Women's Day, I'm excited (and so nervous) to break the abortion taboo. It's one thing to advocate for choice and another thing to publicly acknowledge the importance of one's personal choice. When I was just 19, I got pregnant. It was absolutely not time for me to give birth, let alone become a parent. I was lucky to have the explicit support of just about everyone in my life and it was still incredibly hard. The small town I lived in didn't have a doctor who would perform the procedure. I thought of all the women in areas more rural than me and shudder to this day. The price tag was nontrivial for a working student and got cheaper the further I was willing to travel. Even with all the support in the world, it was tough, but I knew from the beginning what was right for me. Yes, it was hard, but I can promise you that it's not as hard as having a 12 year old right now would be.
I recalled some deep wisdom knowing that exists in all our bones, helped along in me by growing up with herbal remedies and gardens, that there were certain plants that could be used to induce miscarriage. I did a ton of research, went to the health food store and started dosing at the highest levels I could while still being safe. It worked. Ever since then I've wondered why there isn't more conversation about the kinds of abortions that are less easily regulated into oblivion. With the recent attacks on health care, I wanted to share my story with the hopes that that information is never driven away again and like Lilith can start to occupy a more central place in our cultural narrative. It's time for abortion to become a non-issue, a right that simply cannot be taken away.
To learn more about Lilith, join me at Lynn Bell's talk on Astrological Lilith at The Center for Sex & Culture on Wednesday, March 20th at 7:30pm. I doubt she'll be discussing herbal abortions, but we can have tea beforehand if you want to hear more.
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